on my birthday monday…it was forty degrees outside and about thirty inside the house… 🙂:) I got up and made a hot cuppa and starting writing on SAM..my next novel..and I was writing a love scene when it occured to me that the heroine was dressed just like me.  She was in a long flannel grannie gown, sitting there brusing the tangles from her hair.

I have been the fem fatale in sexy lingerie for a younger hubby…but that was his eye candy. I didn’t feel pretty or sexy. In fact I felt kind of stupid and slutty which I didn’t like feeling at all. I was pleasing my man. Men love visual stimulation.

I had an epiphany while I was writing in that moment, because I was relating to her feelings of how her husband was looking at her in that gown that I feel more beautiful at 55, sitting in my old lady gown, with hair to my knees which I had just finished brushing out and braiding than I ever did when I younger wearing things my man wanted to see me in…

Wouldn’t it be lovely for a man to see a woman through her own eyes…the way she sees him…simply with his heart…looking in to her beautiful eyes, to see that spectacular glow of her soul. Thats what turns me on…that light inside…Mine is not dim… its slowly flickering…has not been flamed in 12 years…but still I feel beautiful without feeling cheap and I like it…so much better than when men ogled me for a beauty that was just a prop…

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