Crystal’s voice…


The holidays are hardest…all the sweet memories and happy times we shared.  I wanted to put things in my blog every day..even if only excerpts from novels I’ve written to make others smile…Or little tidbits about my life that they could relate to.

I started this blog because as newly published writer I was encouraged to have a place where my readers and other could get to know me on more personal levels.
But being an introverted person, a little shy and not very social with strangers…its been hard to figure out just to what depths I want to delve here…

 

I have not able to write the past two days…nor have I felt like being online…It was another holiday I will never share again with my only child.  It was empty.  I stayed home and watched an Alfred Hitchcock Movie Marathon and cried most of the day…

 

Crystal wanted a voice in this world…she was my total opposite.  Men, women, children, even butterflies were attracted her from an early age, like flies to honey.  She exuded such so much charisma that she had even me laughing the moment she walked in the door…

 

I have been writing from the depths of my soul since I was two…and I’ve never been at a loss for words…until three years ago.  It was like I died too.  I have not been able to write another thing….

 

But there is bucket list she started with me and recently I’ve been facing my own mortality and so I started working deliberately to fullfill some of her wishes that were still in my power.  Top of the list to get Singing Heart published.  So I did…
That simple…No it wasn’t simple…but it was possible and with that feat, others became easier to start marking off the list…

 

Crystal wanted to have a voice and I was her voice to the world but I didn’t know what to say or how to share what she wanted to convey….
A few weeks ago I sent her memorial to a friend who has the knowledge and high speed interne to put it on Utube for me…

 

Tonight I finally got to watch it there…and I bawled my head off…it is the story of my daughters life from start to finish…and I didn’t have to speak for her…because one picture is worth a thousand words and there were so many of them….

 

The music, those were her favorite songs…and they fit so perfectly with the photos…her art and poetry were there…

 

I share this video tonight with some of her friends who have written me lately expressing how much they miss her…and how hard it must be for me because now they have babies of their own and they realize what I as a parent am suffering at the loss of my only child…

 

That she was more than just their grown up friend she was my little girl at every stage of living…even in the end at the tender age of 24…still my baby…

 

Crystal spoke loud and clear to the world tonight…and I am sharing this link with you so that you can feel her…the one person in the world who meant the most to me….and I’m marking another line through one of her wishes on the bucket list…as she finally has a voice…long overdue…

 

This is the beauty that is Crystal Xzan…forever…

 

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